Parenting or raising a child is indeed one of the most fulfilling endeavors in life. It doesn’t just fills up your heart up to the brim with all the love, but it also makes you a better person. Moreover, it gives you another big reason to live. One day, you are on your own. Then the next day, you wake up next to a cute angel of your own blood. Suddenly, life is so much brighter. On the other hand, it’s also no wonder how difficult a responsibility it is. This rings so much truth if you are also doing it singlehandedly. At the same time, there are certainly a lot of single fathers out there who can attest that succeeding in single parenting is definitely possible. You just need to know some tips on how to be a good single father.
Just accept the fact that exhaustion is inevitable from now on
Since you are a single father, you have to start everything by acceptance. And what are you going to fully accept and embrace from now on? That exhaustion is already your lingering shadow.
As a single parent, you will really be tired. Furthermore, bear in mind that being tired will happen to you almost all the time. No matter how good you planned things out, being alone in this journey is simply just too much. And you know what, you can certainly continue going on despite this. It’s because you are a great Dad who can do all things despite the hardships.
Moreover, by just accepting exhaustion as it is, a big amount of stress is already lifted upon your shoulders. Why? It’s because oftentimes, just thinking about all the tasks lined up for you can already bum you out. So once again, just know that exhaustion is already a part of your life now and that is just what it is.
Focus on your child’s needs
One of the first answers to the question “how to be a good single father?” is simply to focus on your child’s needs. This actually sounds like a no-brainer and yes, it really is. However, with all the stresses that single parenting entails, it’s so easy to be clouded. It’s truly easy to lose sight of what is the most important thing of all which is your child’s actual needs.
In order to always be in touch with your child’s needs, you need to do two things: be observant and spend quality time with your kid. First, you need to be observant of your child. Your child may not be able to say everything that he/she needs. Moreover, this is especially the case if your kid is young or in his/her early years. Doing your research can absolutely help in this situation. You can look for information about the needs of a child in that specific age range.
Furthermore, the other thing you can do is spend time with your kid. Through this, you can bond with him/her. At the same time, you can ask him/her about things you want to know. This is so much favorable, especially if your kid is already a child of about 7 years or older. By this age, he/she can already have a grasp of things and will definitely be able to give valuable answers to your questions.
Create a convenient work schedule for you
As much as possible, create a smooth working schedule for you that won’t interrupt to your time allotted to parenting.
Time is absolutely one of the most critical things for you as a single father. It’s indeed gold to you by now. That is why you need to really think about how you will work and still be fully attentive to your parent duties at the same time. Now, bear in mind that this is absolutely possible if you can manipulate your work schedule.
First, if you can survive with only a part time job, then do so. Being a single father is hard, so a part time job will enable you to have balanced time between your work and your child. On the other hand, if things are a little bit tight and that a full time job is really needed, don’t worry. Always remember that everything will work out just fine. You can absolutely talk to your employer if you can make changes to your work schedule.
Ask help from other people
Yes, you are a “superdad.” However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t take help from others from time to time. See how superheroes have sidekicks? That is because everyone needs a helping hand every now and then.
You can ask other people who are close to you to help you with anything. For example, if you have stay-at-home parents, you can kindly ask them if babysitting your child is okay with them. This can absolutely take off a lot of worries from you since you are leaving your kid with family. At the same time, you will also be able to save financially because you don’t need to pay a nanny. Another example is if you can ask a sister or a brother if they can pick up your child at school since you are still at work.
Furthermore, take note that sometimes, people are just waiting for you to say that you need help. So don’t be shy and ask for help, especially if you really need it at the moment.
Be impeccably patient
Two parents can already attest as to how raising a child/children together can indeed take their guts out. Now, just imagine how stressful that can be for a single father like you. Obviously, it’s way too much. For this reason, another good answer to the question “how to be a good single father?” is to be the impeccably patient. If you can be the most patient father in the world, do so. In addition to this, focus that patience on three main things: your child, yourself, and the parenting process or journey itself.
First and foremost, be patient with your child if he/she is being stubborn or naughty. Always remember that it’s normal for young kids to be like that. Don’t wash over your stresses upon them. Next, be patient with yourself. Remember that you are parenting alone, so there is so much room for imperfection. Don’t ever beat yourself up for some shortcomings. Just remember to always bounce back after those. Lastly, be patient with this journey that you are having. When you are in the middle of crisis, know that it too shall pass. Once again, everything will work out just fine for you and your child.
Just know beforehand that your social life will definitely take a hit
How to be a good single father? One of the numerous ways is to sacrifice. What to actually sacrifice? One of the countless answers to that is your social life. Yes, already accept beforehand that your social life will definitely get a hit.
Take note that you won’t have much time for your friends and dating anymore. It may also be that you won’t have any time at all for these and many similar things. With all the responsibilities on your shoulders, you will barely have the time to go out. However, know that when your child grows up, know that you will have a more flexible time. Then from there, you can definitely go out frequently again.
Pace your love life
This is one of the most significant things you really need to be careful about as a single father. Whatever the reason, you are a single father because it didn’t work out with your previous partner. Every single father case is unique, but that is actually the most common one. Despite not working out, your child’s mother is still his/her mother. Nothing will ever change that. For this reason, you have to pace your budding love life if you are lucky enough to have one during these busy times of yours.
For starters, slowing down will be for your good. It’s true that good things take time. Moreover, pacing your love life is mainly for your child. You don’t want him/her to be overwhelmed with this new relationship of yours. The key here is to be certainly sure of the relationship before you get your child to meet your current partner. At the same time, plan the meeting carefully, so everyone included will be ready.
Don’t say nasty things about their mother
Whatever the reason of not working things out with the mother of your child, he/she is still the mother. For this reason, she still has rights towards the child. Additionally, the child still has rights towards his/her mother. Moreover, whether the mother has done something wrong or nothing, don’t ever talk bad about her in front of your child. If the mother has really done something terrible, you can address it to your child in a way that is decent.
Don’t ever say any nasty things about their mother for you don’t want your child to contract bitterness. You definitely don’t want any kind of resentment to take root in your child’s heart.
Fix the visitation schedule
If you and the mother of your child are still in contact or a good relationship, definitely fix a visitation schedule. Take note that the said schedule should be convenient for the both of you.
Don’t forget about yourself
Last but definitely not the least, don’t forget about yourself. Yes, when you become a parent, you have your child as your topmost priority. On the other hand, that doesn’t mean that you should just brush off yourself along the process. Just think about how you can perform your parent duties if your entire being isn’t healthy. Wouldn’t that be a big hindrance to a certainly successful parenting? Of course, it obviously is!
So always be attentive to your needs too. Always check every aspect of your life. Make sure that you are truly healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically. Furthermore, find time to exercise because you really need a lot of endurance as a single father. Additionally, eat healthy and always have good amounts of sleep.
Remember that being a good single father means that you are able to be competent and efficient. Those things are indeed possible if your whole being is healthy enough to take on the challenge.
Additional tips on how to be a good single father to your daughter
Being a good single father is especially a greater challenge if you have a daughter. This is a no-brainer because there are just things with girls that only other girls can understand.
If you and her mother are still in good terms, make sure that they have regular meetups. It’s both their right and it will really help with your child’s well-being. On the other hand, if there is already no mother in the scene, you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your daughter. You must tell her everything that is in your heart. Definitely tell her how you know you can’t fill up a mother’s shoes, but you can fill up a father’s and really exceed it too! Also, let her know that she can absolutely tell anything to you. Really let her know that you are on her side with regards to everything.
That’s it from me today. If you like this blog post or if you have more suggestions as to how to be a good single father, leave us a comment! Always remember that you are your child’s #1 supporter and top confidant. Make sure that you are always there by his/her side all throughout the various stages of his/her life. Lastly, have an awesome, loving, and fulfilling single father parenting!