Ah, the New Year: the one day when optimism feels socially mandated.

The clocks reset, and suddenly we’re all supposed to believe in fresh starts, even though we spent the last week consuming more cheese, chocolate and delightfully adult beverages than is medically advisable.

Is it a time of infinite possibilities? Sure. But also, let’s not kid ourselves—it’s just another rotation of the earth, sprinkled with extra glitter and fireworks.

Still, there’s something comforting about a calendar reboot. It’s a chance to tell yourself, “This year will be different!” as you set goals you’re statistically unlikely to achieve.

But hey, it’s not all bad. (Psssst : New Year Jokes, New Laughs: 110 Dad Jokes and Puns to Kickstart 2025) The New Year does give us an excuse to make peace with the past 12 months—whether they were good, bad, or, a hellish landscape where only salt and sulpher can survive—and step forward into the new year with a dash of hope.

This collection of 100 New Year quotes for 2025 is here to cover all your New Year’s moods. Whether you want to laugh at the absurdity of resolutions, mock the whole charade with nihilistic sarcasm, or find a gem of inspiration to cling to, I’ve got you.

After all, the New Year isn’t just a celebration—it’s a coping mechanism!

My New Years Tale

I’ve had some shockers. One New Year’s Eve, nearly two decades ago, at a con-club in London, I decided that quad-vods (100ml of vodka and orange juice) were the perfect way to bring in the New Year.

My memory of the night involves headbanging to Bohemian Rhapsody, making a complete tit out of myself by hitting on my best mate’s sister, and vomiting into an ashtray after being mesmerised by the mini xylophones they’d placed on the table for some reason (and spending £100+ when I said I’d keep it under £50).

Apparently, I also tried to share a taxi home with a random bloke 20 years my senior, arguing, “Where’s your New Year’s spirit?” It took me three hours to stumble a 20-minute walk home.

I woke up reeking of regret and with a hangover so intense it could’ve slayed a horse.

Thank God this was pre-TikTok. The ancient polyphonic “smartphones” of the era only captured video in 10fps, so my shame remains safely buried in low-res obscurity on a phone in a landfill somewhere.

Could have been worse though, my mate needed a slash on the walk home, so he jumped into a bush and promptly impaled himself on a spear headed iron wrought fence—he thought he was tangled in the brambles, but after drunkenly untangling himself he made it home… not realising the damage he’d done until the morning after!

So… as we step into 2025, let’s embrace all the New Year has to offer: hope, humour, and dry “wit” from a nearly 40 year old dad.

20 Funny New Year Quotes

Because if we’re going to lie to ourselves about “new beginnings,” we might as well laugh while doing it.

Let’s face it: the New Year is ripe for comedic material. The endless pressure to change, the unrealistic expectations, the sudden gym memberships—it’s all one big inside joke that no one admits they’re in on.

Funny quotes remind us that it’s okay to laugh at ourselves while fumbling through the annual charade of self-improvement.

1. “May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” – Joey Adams
2. “New Year’s Eve is like a glitter-filled ticking time bomb. Fun to start with, but you’ll be cleaning up the mess for days.” – Unknown
3. “First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. Happy New Year!” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
4. “New Year’s resolution: More naps, less crap.” – Unknown
5. “I’m not making resolutions this year. I’m too perfect already.” – Unknown
6. “A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.” – Unknown
7. “I’m planning to take things seriously this year. Unless, of course, something fun comes up.” – Unknown
8. “Good resolutions are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account.” – Oscar Wilde
9. “Diet starts tomorrow. Unless someone shows up with leftover cheesecake.” – Unknown
10. “Some toast the New Year’s arrival, others bid good riddance to what came before.” – Unknown
11. “Here’s to pretending we’ll remember this New Year’s Eve.” – Unknown
12. “I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.” – Unknown
13. “My New Year’s resolution? To stop making lists I can’t keep. So far, so good.” – Unknown
14. “New Year’s Eve is proof that we survived Christmas family dinners.” – Unknown
15. “Let’s start the New Year right: with delusion and denial.” – Unknown
16. “The only ‘new’ thing I’ll see in the New Year is the number on my scales.” – Unknown
17. “The best thing about the New Year? Fresh memes.” – Unknown
18. “A toast to the New Year: Out with the old excuses, in with the new ones.” – Unknown
19. “New Year’s resolutions are like IOUs we write to ourselves and rarely cash.” – Unknown
20. “Here’s to a New Year—another lap around the sun to figure it all out.” – Unknown

20 Sarcastic New Year Quotes

For when your champagne glass is half-empty, and your wit is overflowing.

Sometimes, the New Year’s hype feels a bit too much, doesn’t it? Enter sarcasm: the perfect antidote to the overly enthusiastic “New Year, New Me” brigade.

These quotes serve as a reminder that it’s okay to roll your eyes at it all while secretly hoping this year might be a bit kinder to you.

1. “New Year, same mess.” – Unknown
2. “I’ve decided my New Year’s resolution is to ignore everyone else’s resolutions.” – Unknown
3. “Who needs a New Year when you’re already a perfect disaster?” – Unknown
4. “2024 was a raging dumpster fire. Let’s aim for just a smouldering pile this year.” – Unknown
5. “I love when people say, ‘New Year, new me.’ I’m like, ‘Who are you kidding? I saw you at Christmas.'” – Unknown
6. “The New Year is here, so I guess I’ll have to find new excuses for skipping the gym.” – Unknown
7. “My 2025 resolution is to be less sarcastic. Like, that’s totally going to happen.” – Unknown
8. “New Year’s Day: a fresh start… of me making the same mistakes.” – Unknown
9. “Every New Year’s resolution I’ve ever made is now in therapy.” – Unknown
10. “The only ‘clean slate’ I need is the one under my coffee mug.” – Unknown
11. “Can’t wait for January: The month where my inbox gets flooded with ‘New Year, New You’ spam.” – Unknown
12. “They say the best time for new beginnings is now. I say it’s after coffee.” – Unknown
13. “The only thing I’m resolving this year is to resolve nothing.” – Unknown
14. “Here’s to another 365 days of winging it.” – Unknown
15. “New Year’s Day: when I try to convince myself I’ll care more about my life choices tomorrow.” – Unknown
16. “Why make resolutions when you can just pretend the last year didn’t happen?” – Unknown
17. “Let’s all agree that 2025 will be our year. Or not. Whatever.” – Unknown
18. “My New Year’s vibe: wake me when it’s spring.” – Unknown
19. “Why fix what isn’t broken? Wait, I’m broken? Never mind.” – Unknown
20. “New Year’s resolution: Avoid everyone who uses the phrase ‘New Year, new me.'” – Unknown

20 New Year Quotes 2025

Because every year deserves its own special brand of hope, humour, and existential dread.

2025: the year we finally achieve all those resolutions we’ve been rolling over since 2017. Or maybe it’s just another lap around the sun with a bit of extra sparkle. Either way, these quotes are tailor-made for the unique flavour of optimism, realism, and memes this year will inevitably bring.

1. “New Year’s Eve is the only acceptable time to wear glitter as if it’s a personality.” – Unknown
2. “2025 is just 2024 but with new packaging. Don’t be fooled.” – Unknown
3. “The future is here, and it still doesn’t have hoverboards. But hey, Happy New Year!” – Unknown
4. “Every year I resolve to be less cynical, but 2025 is really pushing it.” – Unknown
5. “Let’s make it a year to forget… and then forget we forgot.” – Unknown
6. “Here’s to the New Year, where optimism meets its inevitable demise by mid-January.” – Unknown
7. “New Year, new adventures. By adventures, I mean naps.” – Unknown
8. “2025: May your Wi-Fi signal always be strong, and your coffee never run out.” – Unknown
9. “Here’s to hoping 2025 doesn’t make me nostalgic for 2024.” – Unknown
10. “New Year’s Day is proof that you survived your own decisions on New Year’s Eve.” – Unknown
11. “The calendar changed, but I’m still me. Is that good or bad? The jury’s out.” – Unknown
12. “Cheers to a New Year filled with missed deadlines and midnight snacks.” – Unknown
13. “2025: The year I finally stop hitting ‘remind me later’ on life’s updates.” – Unknown
14. “The New Year is like a clean sheet of paper… until you spill coffee on it by 10 a.m.” – Unknown
15. “Welcome to 2025: where the only thing that’s certain is the uncertainty.” – Unknown
16. “I’ve got 2025 vision. Too bad it’s blurry.” – Unknown
17. “Another year older, wiser, and still blaming my problems on Mercury retrograde.” – Unknown
18. “2025: May your inbox be empty and your wine glass full.” – Unknown
19. “This New Year, let’s agree to stop lying about how much we love kale.” – Unknown
20. “2025 resolution: Less scrolling, more living. Unless there’s Wi-Fi.” – Unknown

20 Inspirational New Year Quotes

Sometimes, you just need a quote that feels like a hug—or a gentle kick in the pants.

The New Year may be a made-up construct, but it’s still a chance to pause and reflect. These quotes are for those moments when you want to believe in better days ahead. Whether you’re chasing dreams, breaking habits, or just trying to keep your houseplants alive, a little inspiration can go a long way.

1. “Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
2. “The magic in new beginnings is truly the most powerful of them all.” – Josiyah Martin
3. “Be so busy loving your life that you have no time for regret, fear, or worry.” – Unknown
4. “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” – Nido Qubein
5. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
6. “Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach
7. “New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” – Lao Tzu
8. “This year, be bold enough to believe in yourself and strong enough to see it through.” – Unknown
9. “Dream big, start small, but most of all, start.” – Simon Sinek
10. “What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year.” – Vern McLellan
11. “Every moment is a fresh beginning.” – T.S. Eliot
12. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs
13. “Let’s make better mistakes tomorrow.” – Unknown
14. “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln
15. “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela
16. “Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw
17. “This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.” – Taylor Swift
18. “Celebrate endings—for they precede new beginnings.” – Jonathan Lockwood Huie
19. “Each sunrise offers the chance to make today your masterpiece.” – Unknown
20. “The New Year is a fresh canvas; you hold the brush to create your masterpiece.” – Unknown

20 Famous New Year Quotes

Timeless wisdom from people who actually knew what they were talking about (especially #20)

Why not kick off the year with a few words from the greats? Famous quotes have a way of feeling both profound and oddly relevant, no matter the year. Whether it’s Shakespeare or Plato, these gems remind us that humanity’s been muddling through New Year’s hype for centuries.

1. “Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier.'” – Alfred Lord Tennyson
2. “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” – Oprah Winfrey
3. “For last year’s words belong to last year’s language, and next year’s words await another voice.” – T.S. Eliot
4. “The beginning is the most important part of the work.” – Plato
5. “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.” – Brad Paisley
6. “And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been.” – Rainer Maria Rilke
7. “Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbours, and let every new year find you a better man.” – Benjamin Franklin
8. “The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written.” – Melody Beattie
9. “The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise, it’s dull.” – W.H. Auden
10. “Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress.” – Charles Kettering
11. “Each age has deemed the new-born year the fittest time for festal cheer.” – Walter Scott
12. “New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.” – Charles Lamb
13. “We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives… not looking for flaws but for potential.” – Ellen Goodman
14. “Ring out the false, ring in the true.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson
15. “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” – Albert Einstein
16. “Celebrate what you want to see more of.” – Tom Peters
17. “Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God it can go.” – Brooks Atkinson
18. “An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” – William E. Vaughan
19. “Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” – Bill Vaughan
20. “Where’s your New Year’s Spirit?” – Seb (Dad Blog)

In Summation (Goodbye 2024)

So here we are at the end of 2024, or as I will call it from now on, “The Year of Biting Off More Than I Could Chew.”

Undertaking a 25-day advent series about nostalgia seemed like a whimsical, genius idea back in November, but somewhere around Day 16—after waxing lyrical about Tamagotchis, Yorkshire puddings (with Ketchup), and Yr Injan Fach Fentrus for the umpteenth time—I realised just how truly daft an idea it was.

Turns out, even nostalgia has limits, and I’ve now explored them in great, exhausting detail.

I’ve stretched the concept of nostalgia so thin it could legally qualify as a wafer at this point. I mean, once you’ve covered the music, games, food, cartoons, TV shows, jokes, commercials and a hazy blur of childhood memories that might be more fantasy than fact, you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel.

And not even the good barrel with JD—this was the stale one that smells faintly of damp socks and regret.

But somehow, we made it through. And that’s thanks to you.

Whether you’ve followed every post or just popped in for a bit of holiday cheer, I truly appreciate your time, your patience, and your willingness to humour me through this period of emotional ups and downs.

You lot are one of the best gifts this year has thrown my way all 40,000+ of you that have read my series this month.

Merry Christmas, everyone. X

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got exactly one night to wrap an intimidating mountain of presents with the wife (who broke her toe as we were moving the kids bedrooms around), assemble a doll house from Argos that has more screws than that box of spares you keep in the cupboard “just in case”, and find a polite way to explain to my kids why Father Christmas might have forgotten the batteries.

I’ll see you in the New Year—hopefully with a bit more sense, and a whole lot less glitter.

Cheers! 🎄
– Seb (a.k.a The Dad)

Nostalgia Advent Round-up

• Day 1: The Argos Catalogue: The Ultimate 80s & 90s Christmas Wishlist
• Day 2: Throwback Christmas Ads: The Most Memorable Commercials of the 80s & 90s
• Day 3: The Most Iconic Retro Christmas Snacks & Nibbles of the 80s & 90s
• Day 4: Nostalgic Christmas Movies From the 80’s & 90’s That Defined My Holidays
• Day 5: Nostalgic 80’s and 90’s School Christmas Traditions
• Day 6: 80s & 90s Christmas Decorations: Tacky, Tinsel, Lights & Longing
• Day 7: Love it Or Hate It: 80s & 90s Christmas Songs Every Millenial Will Remember
• Day 8: 80s & 90s Christmas Dinner Memories: What Was on Your Plate
• Day 9: Dadblog’s Ultimate Christmas Quiz: Festive Fun for All Ages
• Day 10: 17 Classic Christmas Party Games from the 80s & 90s
• Day 11: 60 Hilarious Christmas Dad Jokes & Puns to Sleigh Your Holiday
• Day 12: The Most Wanted Christmas Toys of the 80s and 90s
• Day 13: Top Christmas Cartoons of the 80s & 90s
• Day 14: How Many Days Until Christmas Day 2024? (Starting to run out of steam about here…)
• Day 15: Classic Christmas TV Shows of the 80s and 90s: A Nostalgic Countdown
• Day 16: Pre-Internet Christmas Shopping: The 80s and 90s Hustle
• Day 17: The Evolution of Christmas Crackers: Why I Miss the Bang and Tat of the 80s and 90s
• Day 18: When Do You Open Christmas Presents? The Great Christmas Debate
• Day 19: How We Survived Christmas Before Wi-Fi
• Day 20: Christmases Past – Grief at Christmas
• Day 21-23: Rest
• Day 24: 100 New Year Quotes to Celebrate (or Survive) 2025
• Day 25: Merry Christmas!