The results are in, the votes are verified, and it turns out we aren't just "quirky" or "a bit different"—we're part of a missed generation of neurodivergent adults who were told to shut up, put up, and just get on with life. Now, experts believe the number of autistic people in England could be double what was previously thought, with many realising well into adulthood that they've been navigating a world that wasn't built for them.
And if you've recently had that lightbulb moment, spent nights deep-diving into ADHD and autism forums, and excitedly shared your self-diagnosis with loved ones, you've probably heard the most infuriating response:
"Well, you've managed this long, so what's the point of getting a diagnosis?"
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Pursuing an ADHD Diagnosis or Autism Assessment Benefits Both You and Your Children
Aside from the sheer lack of empathy in that statement, there's actually a huge reason why a formal diagnosis still matters—especially if you're a parent of neurodivergent kids. Whether you're gearing up for the NHS waiting list slog or considering an ADHD diagnosis (as I did) or private adult autism assessments, getting a diagnosis could be one of the best things you ever do for your children.
An Assessment or Diagnosis Helps Your Child's Medical History
On average, autistic parents are nine times more likely to have a neurodivergent child. While your child can absolutely get diagnosed without you having a formal label, the process becomes so much easier if medical professionals have a clear family history.
For years, I "proudly" ticked 'No' next to "any developmental or mental issues" on forms. I didn't think much of it—after all, I'd masked so well that I never considered myself part of that world.
Now? I tick those boxes with zero hesitation. Because this isn't something to hide from. It's who I am, it's who we are—and knowing that helps ensure my kids get the support they need.
Opting for an assessment as an adult for any neurodivergence means you won't be left wondering. You'll have concrete answers, which in turn, gives professionals a full picture when assessing your children.
Spotting Signs of ADHD or Autism in Your Child
When you've spent your whole life masking neurodivergence, you tend to assume certain behaviours are just 'normal'.
- Your child hates loud noises? Well, doesn't everyone?
- They struggle to make eye contact? Who actually enjoys that awkwardness?
- They don't like playing with other kids? Well… neither did you, and you turned out fine (sort of).
- Can't get them to sit still? Watch me play guitar and headbang for next two hours...
My wife and I missed so many subtle signs in our kids, simply because we were only looking for the obvious ones. Our eldest was very clearly on the spectrum—lining up toys by colour, needing everything in a precise place etc, flailing wildly and oh my goodness, the special interests™.
But because that was the stereotype, we overlooked the smaller things in our other kids. Looking back now, it's eye-opening how much we missed, and I regret not spotting it sooner.
An ADHD diagnosis or autism assessment doesn't just help you understand yourself—it helps you better understand your children.
How a Diagnosis Can Normalise the Experience for Your Kids
Medical assessments can be overwhelming, especially for kids who already struggle with change, anxiety, or uncertainty. But if they see you going through the process, it normalises it.
- You can take them along to your appointments.
- You can explain the process in a way that makes sense to them.
- You can lead by example, showing them that getting assessed isn't something to fear.
For some kids, knowing their parent is on the same journey could make all the difference in how they perceive their own diagnosis. Instead of feeling "different" or "broken," they'll know they're just wired like Mum or Dad—and that's something to be embraced, not hidden.
You Deserve to Know Yourself Too
If you've made it this far, you probably already know that getting a diagnosis isn't just for your kids—it's for you too.
For years, I brushed off my own neurodivergence. I joked with my wife about "maybe being a bit neurodivergent" and she suspected and self-diagnosed Autism over a decade ago.
My brother is heavily on the spectrum, my stepdaughter is diagnosed, and we're currently on the waiting list for the rest of our kids. Looking back, my mum almost certainly was too. But because I masked so well, I never saw the point in chasing a label.
Then I started watching Instagram reels and TikToks my wife sent me—and they hit a little too close to home.
The constant music stuck in my head? The repeating the same song on loop for weeks? The inability to sit still without spinning like a child with ants in his pants? Yeah… it all started making sense.
When I finally got an ADHD diagnosis, it was like a fog lifting. Taking Elvanse has been the difference between night and day. My executive dysfunction is manageable, I don't feel like I'm on a constant energy rollercoaster, and I can focus on the important things in life again.
Knowing this about myself means I can help my kids navigate their own neurodivergence—whether it's homeschooling, social struggles, or managing things like OCD and repetitive actions.
So if you're sitting there, wondering whether a an adult ADHD diagnosis or adult autism assessment even matters? It does.
Why You Should Take the First Step Towards Diagnosis
For those who say, "It's too late, it won't change anything,"—stop it.
Your mental health matters. Getting an ADHD diagnosis or persuing private adult autism assessments won't change your past, but it can shape your future. Understanding your neurodivergence allows you to better advocate for yourself and your children, ensuring you all get the support you need.
If you suspect you're neurodivergent, don't let doubt stop you. Speak to your GP. If you have the means, consider a private diagnosis. I wish I'd taken my own mental health seriously sooner.
And if you're still unsure, pick up a copy of Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Dr Russell A. Barkley. I only needed 20 pages to realise I was staring at the most accurate description of myself I'd ever seen—and for the first time in my life, I finally had answers.
- Barkley, Russell A. (Author)
- English (Publication Language)
- 294 Pages - 12/21/2021 (Publication Date) - Guilford Press (Publisher)
So if you won't do it for yourself, do it for them. Because the more you understand yourself, the better you can help them.
Know someone who might relate to this? Share this post with them—it might be the nudge they need. And if you're on this journey, make sure to bookmark this page or sign up for our newsletter to stay connected.
Want to Dive Deeper Into the Journey of Adult Neurodivergence?
💡 Read this next:
📌 Late-Diagnosed Adult ADHD: A Personal Journey – My experience with ADHD diagnosis as an adult and how it changed my perspective.
👶 Navigating neurodivergence with kids?
📌 How to Make Dentist Trips Easier for Neurodivergent Kids – Practical tips to help sensory-sensitive children at the dentist.
🚶 Noticing differences in your child's movement?
📌 Why Neurodivergent Kids Walk Funny – A deep dive into gait issues, autism, and sensory processing.
Understanding yourself is just the beginning—the more you know, the better you can support your kids. 💙
