Something a Little Silly Tonight…

There are two types of people in this world: those who don’t care what flavour their crisps are (weirdos), and those of us who know that some flavours are worth fighting for.

Tonight, I’m calling out to Walkers, the flavour gods, the snack wizards, to bring back the holy grail of crispdom… Mexican Fiery Sweet Chipotle Flavour.

If you’ve ever had a snack you loved ripped from store shelves (looking at you, Cadbury Puddles and Mingles!), you know the pain. But tonight, my friends, let me regale you with a poem from the depths of this old man’s heart – a plea to Walkers for the return of the most glorious crisp to ever grace my taste buds.

Oh, Walkers, dear Walkers, lend me your ear,
For I’ve something to say that you need to hear.
Mexican Fiery Sweet Chipotle was the spice of my day,
Now it’s gone, I’m just lost, in a bland, beige way.

I munched it at band practice, fuelled every jam,
My muse of sweet fire in a foil-packed dram.
That blend of sweet heat – no crisp can compare,
And now I’m left with flavours that don’t even dare.

I don’t care that they made me a size or two large,
The flavour divine was well worth the charge.
Each crisp a delight, a guilty pleasure,
A fiery indulgence, my salty treasure.

Some say they’d remortgage their house for a taste,
Just one bag of sweet fire – no crumb would go to waste.
For a lick of that spice, they’d pay any price,
A crisp so enchanting, we’d sacrifice twice.

I’d give up my gym membership, snacks for a year,
If it meant Fiery Sweet Chipotle were near.
Bring them back, Walkers – you know you should,
Because no other crisp can taste this good!

So here’s to my craving, absurd and sincere,
The crisps of my dreams – will they ever reappear?
If comebacks are slim, I’ll accept my defeat,
But I’ll still pine for you, with a heart bittersweet.

• The Dad