Ahh, Christmas, it’s nearly that time of year again. Now, I know I’ve been pushing the Xmas stuff pretty hard so far (have you seen my 104+ Christmas Gift Ideas for Dad: The Ultimate 2024 Guide 🎅 post?) – but I really love Christmas now that I get to spend it with my family, the one that my wife and I made – where we try to make as many magical moments and memories with the kids as possible.

It feels even more special considering how different it was growing up, bouncing between different homes and never quite feeling settled during the holidays.

We’re huge fans of LEGO in this household – whether it’s Sonic, Mario, Friends, or even the Home Alone house waiting in the loft, there’s something for everyone. The whole family is surrounded by LEGO magic.

So I was sat down on the sofa last night, browsing through a few gifts with the wife and I had the dark idea to make this post…

Growing up, Christmas wasn’t always magical – one year at Dad’s, the next at Mum’s, and sometimes alternating with Grandma and Grandad. I remember playing Sonic on an old TV from the 70s that would occasionally go black and white, requiring just the right hit to make it work. (Who knows how much accidental radiation I was exposed to).

Those fragmented holidays really shaped my perspective, and it’s part of what inspired this tongue-in-cheek LEGO Christmas gift guide for Dad’s.

This post is for the mums, sons, daughters, and family members who get it. The ones that struggled, or continue to struggle, with the stereotypical, physically or emotionally absent, neglectful, or outright trauma-inducing fathers that scuppered their lives.

I’m hoping it puts a smile on your face this holiday season. I know it’s a little dark, and not part of my usual repertoire, but here goes nothing.

Obvious disclaimer: LEGO® is a trademark of the LEGO Group of companies which does not sponsor, authorise or endorse this site.

Build Your Own Bar Set

For the dad that never found a pub he didn’t like more than his own family. This set comes with LEGO bricks to assemble a mini-bar, complete with tiny pints, a bar stool, and a LEGO dad figure passed out on the floor.

It’s the perfect way to capture those fond memories of when he disappeared on “a quick trip to the pub” and didn’t come back until the wee hours (if at all).

Build Your Childhood Trauma Set

Relive those defining moments that made you who you are today. This set includes tiny LEGO pieces like beer cans, an empty wallet, and sarcastic messages from your dad like, “You think this is hard? You should see my life!” Build an emotionally absent LEGO dad lounging on the couch while his kids drink the dregs from the left over cans. Fun for all ages, especially the therapists you’ll need later.

World’s Smallest Effort Set

This set is for the dad who always did just enough to avoid getting completely written off – barely. With LEGO pieces that form a park bench and a phone, you can recreate those classic “quality time” moments.

Dad on the phone while you stood there holding a birthday card he didn’t read. A present picked up from the charity shop with half the pieces missing and the price tag still attached and a LEGO child with a blank expression – because fatherhood comes in 15-minute packages every month.

The irony, of course, is that assembling this set will take more effort than dad ever put into those so-called “quality” moments.

Build Your Own Excuse Generator Set

For the dad who’s mastered the art of dodging responsibility. Construct an elaborate machine that churns out the same tired old excuses. This set comes with LEGO cogs, gears, and even a tiny printer that spits out, “Ask your mum,” and “I’m too tired right now.”

For particularly creative dads, the machine also features an option to generate elaborate excuses like, “I can’t come because I have an important business meeting with the CEO of PretendCorp.” Pair it with the World’s Smallest Effort Set to capture the perfect moment of letdown.

The Disappointment Factory Set

It’s like Santa’s Workshop – if Santa delivered broken promises instead of presents. Build the ultimate factory where LEGO dads churn out broken promises like “I’ll be at your game” and “We’ll do it next weekend.”

It features a conveyor belt of empty gift boxes and a LEGO child holding a deflated balloon. It’s dark, it’s funny, and if you can’t laugh at it now, well, at least it’ll make for good therapy fodder later on.

The End… For Now

I do hope these sets brought a little twisted joy to your day. Maybe a chuckle, maybe an uncomfortable laugh – who knows, and at this point my ADHD and RSD has got me second guessing whether I should even post it!

Either way, this one’s for all of us who grew up having to laugh to keep from crying. Feel free to share it with someone who gets it.

If you’ve got your own ideas for similar funny LEGO ‘sets,’ I’d love to hear them – and bring them to life! Share them in the comments or tag me on social media.

Wishing you all a genuinely happy holiday, full of the moments that truly matter.