Christmas isn’t just about presents, food, and that one uncle who insists on telling the same bad Christmas jokes year after year—it’s also about dad jokes. The time of year that we REALLY get to shine.
Updated: 24th December 2024 (Added 18 additional Christmas jokes)
🎵 So here it is, Merry Christmas EVERYBODY 🎵
Merry Christmas to you all, from all of us at Dad Blog HQ 🎅🤶🧑🎄🧑🎄🧑🎄🧑🎄🧑🎄 hoping that your stockings aren’t the only thing getting stuffed this Christmas! 😅🤭🎅🤶
Welcome to Day 11 of our 25 Days of Nostalgia series!
As a dad of five, I know firsthand the power of a perfectly timed festive pun to break the ice or deadpan execution of a Christmas dad joke to lighten the mood during meltdowns or, to get over the awkwardness that always seems to comes from that one relative who always drinks too much and things get a bit uncomfortable (looking at you mum).
No holiday is complete without groan-worthy puns and cringe-worthy one-liners. That’s why we’ve compiled this ultimate list of Christmas jokes, guaranteed to make your family laugh, groan, or both.
So as the weather gets colder, we’re keeping the holiday season warm, merry, and bright with these hilarious jokes that are sure to sleigh your Christmas celebrations. Whether you’re looking for laughs to share at family gatherings, witty captions for your festive selfies, or just a quick pick-me-up during the hustle and bustle, this collection of dad-approved humour has got you covered.
From classic jokes and cheeky puns to kid-friendly giggles and a few grown-up laughs, we’re making it rein(deer) with the ultimate dose of Christmas cheer.
Table of Contents
Oh, and if you’re looking for the perfect gift for Dad this year, check out our 104+ Christmas Gifts for Dad post. He’ll love it as much as he loves these jokes—probably more, though.
20 Classic Christmas Dad Jokes
Nothing brings holiday cheer quite like these classic Christmas dad jokes.
These timeless gems are perfect for family gatherings, office parties, or getting your own back on the kids for turning you into a Christmas Womble—prowling around with a bin bag like it’s Wimbledon Common, ready to scoop up every scrap of wrapping paper while they’re knee-deep in presents.
Packed with puns and seasonal silliness, these jokes are guaranteed to put a smile on your face (or at least make someone groan in festive frustration).
- Pack of 100 Christmas joke cards.
- 100 CHRISTMAS JOKES THAT KIDS WILL LOVE. What does Santa eat for breakfast? MISTLE-TOAST! This…
- Each pack contains unique, hillarious jokes.
- Currell-Williams, Imogen (Author)
- 🎄 【Add Fun to DIY Crackers】 Add unique humor to your homemade Christmas crackers with our…
- Why was the turkey at the Christmas party so shy? Because it didn’t want to get roasted!
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes!
- Why did Santa go to music school? So he could improve his wrapping skills.
- What do you get if you cross a snowman with a dog? Frostbite.
- Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They always drop their needles.
- How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle.”
- What do you call an elf that sings? A wrapper.
- Why did the Christmas cracker go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
- How does Santa take care of his garden? He uses his “hoe, hoe, hoe!”
- Why don’t you ever see Father Christmas in hospital? Because he has private ‘elf care.
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed to spruce itself up.
- What’s a snowman’s favourite drink? Iced tea.
- What’s Santa’s favourite kind of sandwich? Peanut butter and jolly.
- How do sheep in Spain say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad.
- What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
- Why is everyone so calm at the North Pole? Because everything’s cool.
- What do you call a snowman party? A snowball.
- How do you wash your hands over the holidays? With Santatiser.
- What’s Santa’s favourite type of music? Wrap.
- Why did the Grinch go to the off-license? He was searching for holiday spirit.
20 Cheeky Festive Puns
For those who like their humour a little more playful, these cheeky Christmas puns will have everyone giggling. Perfect for breaking the ice at holiday parties or sneaking into your Christmas cards, these puns deliver the perfect mix of wit and seasonal charm.
- Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it “soots” him.
- What do you call Santa when he’s on a break? Santa Pause.
- Why did the Christmas lights get arrested? They were causing a heated argument.
- How does Santa keep his suits wrinkle-free? Claus-et management.
- What did the gingerbread man say when he broke up with his partner? “You’re crumbling my vibe.”
- What’s Santa’s favourite state of matter? Solid, liquid, or sleigh-d.
- Why was the ornament so good at public speaking? It knew how to string its words together.
- How do elves take their tea? Short and sweet.
- Why didn’t Rudolph ever get a speeding ticket? He always sleighs it.
- What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
- Oh, deer! Christmas is here!
- There’s snow place like home for the holidays.
- It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
- Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
- I’m tree-mendously excited for Christmas.
- Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
- Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.
- Frosty the Snowman is so cool, he’s ice-solated.
- Yule be sorry if you skip dessert.
- Let’s make this Christmas un-forgetta-bell!
10 Christmas Jokes for Kids
Keep the little ones entertained this holiday season with these child-friendly Christmas jokes. Whether you’re looking for funny Christmas jokes for kids or light-hearted holiday humour, this list is sure to spread joy.
They’re clean, easy to remember, and full of festive fun—perfect for sharing around the dinner table or before Christmas storytime.
- What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet!
- Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose.
- What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!
- Why can’t Christmas trees sew? They keep losing their needles.
- What’s a reindeer’s favourite game? Stable tennis.
- Why did the elf go to school? To improve his shelf esteem.
- What’s a snowman’s favourite game? Freeze tag.
- What’s a Christmas tree’s favourite candy? Orna-mints.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no-body to go with.
- How do you scare a snowman? Show him a hairdryer.
10 Christmas Jokes for Adults
Christmas isn’t just for kids! These jokes are perfect for readers searching for funny Christmas jokes for adults or cheeky holiday humour. A little more grown-up, but still family friendly!
- Why did Santa get a parking ticket? He left his sleigh in a snow-parking zone.
- What do you call a group of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
- Why was the office Christmas party so awkward? They tried to mix business with pleasure.
- What does a snowman drink at happy hour? Ice-cold shots.
- Why did the turkey refuse dessert? It was already stuffed.
- How does Santa handle naughty elves? He gives them the sack.
- What’s Santa’s least favourite workout? The sleigh push—it’s murder on his back.
- Why do married men love Christmas? Because it’s the one time of year they’re encouraged to put effort into wrapping things.
- What’s the best Christmas party game for adults? Candy cane Jenga—it’s all fun and games until someone eats the pieces.
- Why do parents dread Christmas morning? Because assembling toys at 3 a.m. doesn’t count as festive cheer.
18 Bonus Jokes & Puns For Kids & Naughty Adults
Puns
- What kind of motorbike does Father Christmas ride?
A Holly Davidson. - Did you know Santa Claus has 3 gardens?
It’s so he can “hoe hoe hoe”. - How did they know how big Jesus was when he was born?
They had a weigh in the manger. - What is Santa’s nationality?
He’s North Pole-ish. - How much did Saint Nick pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house! - How does Santa take pictures?
With his Pole-aroid. - How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed. - How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents. - Where does Father Christmas keep his suit after Christmas?
In the Clause-it.
Kid Friendly
- Why can’t penguins fly?
They’re not tall enough to be pilots. - Which of Santa’s reindeer do dinosaurs hate?
Comet. - What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Rude Christmas Jokes for Adults
These more risqué jokes Xmas jokes are for adults only. They are downright cheesy, rude and most certainly not suitable for children. The elves are watching!
- Why is Santa always so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. - What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
Twerky. - I bought my daughter a pregnant Barbie for Christmas!
Although I don’t know how she became pregnant because Ken definitely came in a different box. - Why does Santa Claus carry a huge sack?
Because he only comes butt once a year. - Why is there an Angel on top of the Christmas tree?
Saint Nick was having a bad day and was entirely overwhelmed. The Angel comes in and asks, “Hey Santa, where should I stick this tree?” - What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snow balls.
That’s a Wrap!
There you have it—60 (+18) “hilarious” Christmas jokes and the best dad jokes for Christmas guaranteed to spread holiday cheer (or mild irritation). Whether you’re impressing the in-laws or traumatising your kids, these jokes have got you covered.
If you’re looking for even more Christmas cheer, don’t miss our 25 Days of Christmas Nostalgia Advent Series, packed with 80s and 90s nostalgia for millennial parents, daily surprises, and a yearnful look at memories gone by to make this Christmas truly magical.
- Day 1: The Argos Catalogue: The Ultimate 80s & 90s Christmas Wishlist
- Day 2: Throwback Christmas Ads: The Most Memorable Commercials of the 80s & 90s
- Day 3: The Most Iconic Retro Christmas Snacks & Nibbles of the 80s & 90s
- Day 4: Nostalgic Christmas Movies From the 80’s & 90’s That Defined My Holidays
- Day 5: Nostalgic 80’s and 90’s School Christmas Traditions
- Day 6: 80s & 90s Christmas Decorations: Tacky, Tinsel, Lights & Longing
- Day 7: Love it Or Hate It: 80s & 90s Christmas Songs Every Millenial Will Remember
- Day 8: 80s & 90s Christmas Dinner Memories: What Was on Your Plate
- Day 9: Dadblog’s Ultimate Christmas Quiz: Festive Fun for All Ages
- Day 10: 17 Classic Christmas Party Games from the 80s & 90s
- Day 11: 60 Hilarious Christmas Dad Jokes & Puns to Sleigh Your Holiday
- Day 12: The Most Wanted Christmas Toys of the 80s and 90s
- Day 13: Top Christmas Cartoons of the 80s & 90s
- Day 14: How Many Days Until Christmas Day 2024? (Starting to run out of steam about here…)
- Day 15: Classic Christmas TV Shows of the 80s and 90s: A Nostalgic Countdown
- Day 16: Pre-Internet Christmas Shopping: The 80s and 90s Hustle
- Day 17: The Evolution of Christmas Crackers: Why I Miss the Bang and Tat of the 80s and 90s
- Day 18: When Do You Open Christmas Presents? The Great Christmas Debate
- Day 19: How We Survived Christmas Before Wi-Fi
- Day 20: Christmases Past – Grief at Christmas
- Day 21-23: Rest
- Day 24: 100 New Year Quotes to Celebrate (or Survive) 2025
- Day 25: Merry Christmas!
This post was featured by Twinkl as part of their Christmas joke blogs!
