I used to work for a "prestigeous" SEO agency back in the long-long-ago — back when we'd keyword-stuff meta tags and content and call it optimisation.
Between staring at spreadsheets and HTML for eight hours a day at the agency, and then spending another six at home hyperfocused on God knows what, my eyes took an absolute battering.
Eventually, I gave in and booked an eye test. I wasn't going blind, but I was getting regular headaches, struggling to focus (visually and mentally — thanks ADHD), and just felt constantly foggy.
Turns out I needed mens glasses… with a prescription so minor the optician practically shrugged.
Something like -0.25 and -0.1. Basically, a gentle nudge in the general direction of seeing things.
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The Glasses Didn't Do Much… But the Point Was, I Tried
When I put them on, I did that slow blink like a character in an advert expecting the world to shift into 4K. It didn't.
Things looked a bit… magnified, maybe? Sharper, sort of? Mostly, I just liked how they looked. I felt like I'd joined the Intellectual Dads Club, even if the membership card was printed in Comic Sans.
And yet… the dizziness was wild.
Like, "Have I just had three pints at lunchtime?" wild. I went back a year later and the optician told me — with barely concealed amusement — that I basically didn't need glasses at all. Aside from a touch of astigmatism (yes, that's the one — not stigmata, which would be a much bigger issue), my vision was fine.
So what caused the headaches? Turns out it was a combination of screen time, bad posture, stress, and possibly those dodgy energy drinks from the offie.
Classic lifestyle migraine and headache triggers.
So Why Bother?
Because not bothering meant taking sick days, battling through work like I'd been hit by a bus, and then trying to parent through the haze. It meant nodding along to bedtime stories I couldn't actually read properly and wincing through blue-light hell just to answer emails.
Work eventually gave me a voucher for a screen filter and the eye test, and honestly — I should've done it six months earlier. But y'know… men. We don't book things. We endure.
Parenting, Glasses, and Being Told Off by the Kids
Two of my kids wear glasses. They've got worse eyesight than me, and they're still more responsible about eye tests. The other three? Fine for now, but not above roasting me.
"Dad, you need glasses."
"You're squinting again."
"Maybe get your eyes checked before you drive us anywhere."
Thanks, kids. Love you too.
Truth is, I do struggle a bit with night driving now that I'm older. The glare from headlights is intense — like someone's permanently got their full beams on just for me. My wife, being far more thoughtful than I deserve, got me a pair of yellow-tinted night driving glasses.
Yes, I look like Ali G. No, I don't mind. They do help take the edge off the glare — though it's hard to tell if it's the lenses or just me pretending to be cool and competent.
5 Signs It Might Be Time for Your Own Eye Test
If you're a dad (or a serial screen-staring human being) and you haven't had your eyes checked in a while, here are some signs it might be time:
1. You're squinting at everything
Menus. Road signs. The subtitles on Bluey. Squinting is your eye muscles saying "please help".
2. Headaches that make no sense
You've slept, hydrated, caffeinated, and you're still in pain? Might be eye strain. Or toddlers. Possibly both.
3. Night driving feels like a laser light show
If you dread driving in the dark more than soft play, it might be your vision slipping.
4. Your eyes are just… tired
Dry, sore, or twitchy eyes after a long day? It might not be just tiredness — it could be your prescription (or lack of one).
5. You're seeing things double
Not in a fun "pints with the lads" way — more in a "oh no, that road has two centre lines" way. Definitely book a test.
Thoughts from a Reluctant Glasses Dad
Do I still wear my glasses? Sometimes. When I remember where I put them. When my head hurts. When I want to look clever in zoom calls.
Do I regret getting them? Not at all. Even if they didn't "fix" anything, they reminded me that looking after myself — even just a little bit — matters.
So if you're on the fence, don't wait. Book the eye test.
And if your kids tell you you're squinting again… maybe listen.
