New Year’s Eve for me was always a festive concoction of countdowns, champagne, and the occasional questionable life decision.

But before I go into great detail : BREAKING NEWS 🚨🚨🚨

December 30th has officially been designated as New Year’s Adam.

It comes before New Year’s Eve. A disappointment she’s all too familiar with… 🤣🤣🤣

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming…

One year, I found myself at a London con-club, celebrating the impending year with quad-vods (that’s 100ml of vodka with a splash of orange juice for the uninitiated).

The night was a glorious mess: I headbanged to Bohemian Rhapsody, embarrassed myself by hitting on my best mate’s sister, and somehow managed to lose all £100 of my drinks into an ashtray (no it didn’t hold much….) after being hypnotised by mini xylophones on the tables, and promptly being escorted out.

As I stumbled home—three hours for a 20-minute walk—I had the stark realisation that New Year’s Eve is probably better when you start without the hangover, and with a bit of humour instead… but we’re only young once right?

So, this year, whether you’re celebrating at a party, with family, or on your sofa in pyjamas (this one please), these 100+ New Year jokes and puns are the perfect way to bring in 2025 with a smile!

Classic New Year’s Jokes

Classic New Year jokes are timeless crowd-pleasers. They’re simple, funny, and work in any setting—whether you’re sharing laughs with family or breaking the ice at a party. These jokes are a must-have for your New Year’s Eve arsenal, guaranteed to keep everyone chuckling as the clock ticks closer to midnight.

Looking for jokes to use in your New Year’s party games? Or maybe a witty one-liner for your next countdown event? These classic New Year’s Eve jokes are perfect for all audiences and sure to make your 2025 celebrations memorable.

1. What’s a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.

2. Why did the man sit on his watch on New Year’s Eve? He wanted to be on time.

3. What’s a janitor’s favourite New Year’s resolution? Sweep the competition!

4. Why don’t calendars argue? They always agree on dates.

5. What do you say to a cow on December 31st? Happy Moo Year!

6. Why was the clock so calm on New Year’s Day? It had time on its side.

7. What’s an astronaut’s favourite countdown? New Year’s lift-off!

8. Why did the calendar go to therapy? It had too many dates.

9. How does a snowman celebrate New Year’s? By chilling out.

10. Why did the firework break up with the match? It found them too hot to handle.

New Year’s Puns

If there’s one thing that never goes out of style, it’s a good pun. These New Year’s Eve puns combine clever wordplay with the joy of celebration, making them perfect for party captions or countdown banter.

From witty remarks about resolutions to cheeky puns about champagne and fireworks, these gems will have everyone groaning in delight. Perfect for adding a bit of sparkle to your New Year’s Eve celebrations!

11. My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating… but I’ll start tomorrow.

12. Why did the calendar refuse to celebrate New Year’s? It needed a day off.

13. Midnight kisses are overrated. I’d rather smooch my pillow.

14. Champagne is just a bubbly personality in a bottle.

15. I joined a gym on New Year’s Eve—it was a weighty decision.

16. Why do fireworks always date each other? Because sparks fly.

17. My resolution is to find my glasses—I’ve been looking into it.

18. Why did the clock get a promotion on New Year’s Day? It was about time.

19. What do you call a New Year’s Eve party for mathematicians? A countdown function.

20. My wife’s resolution? To stop rolling her eyes at my jokes… starting next year.

New Year Jokes for Kids

New Year’s Eve isn’t just for the grown-ups—kids love to get in on the fun too! Although we change the clocks and put the Netflix countdowns on around 10…

These kid-friendly New Year jokes are designed to be silly, simple, and perfect for keeping the little ones entertained as they wait for the countdown.

These are the best New Year jokes for kids, combining easy laughs with playful wordplay.

21. What do you call a penguin on New Year’s Eve? A cool party guest.

22. Why was the snowman so happy? He was surrounded by all the coolest guests.

23. What do fish say on January 1st? “Let’s make fin-tastic resolutions!”

24. What did one confetti say to the other confetti? Pull yourself together.

25. What’s a rabbit’s New Year’s resolution? To hop into new opportunities.

26. Why did the sheep throw a New Year’s party? It wanted to have a woolly good time.

27. What’s an elf’s New Year’s wish? To stay off the shelf!

28. Why did the boy bring a ruler to the countdown? He wanted to measure the excitement.

29. What’s a frog’s favourite midnight snack? Hopcorn.

30. How does a polar bear celebrate New Year’s? Ice skating into January.

Cheesy New Year’s Puns

Sometimes the cheesier the pun, the better the laugh. These cheesy New Year’s puns are gloriously over-the-top and guaranteed to make someone groan (which is the ultimate win for a dad joke).

Perfect for Instagram captions, party banter, or just torturing your friends and family, these jokes are as cringy as they are clever. Dive into the cheesiest side of New Year’s humour!

31. My New Year’s diet? I’ve cut out chocolate… in small pieces.

32. Why don’t resolutions last? They’re all talk and no action.

33. Why did the gym owner love January 1st? It’s their busiest time of year!

34. I made a resolution to stop recycling jokes. They’re rubbish anyway.

35. Midnight snacks are great—time flies when you’re eating!

36. Why did the wine blush on New Year’s Eve? It saw the cork pop.

37. What do fireworks say at midnight? “Let’s make a bang!”

38. Why did the grape leave the party early? It was raisin awareness.

39. What do you call an optimistic clock? A timekeeper with high hopes.

40. My dog’s New Year’s resolution? To paws and reflect.

Clean New Year’s Jokes

If you’re looking for jokes that are guaranteed to work in any setting, these clean New Year jokes are your best bet. They’re family-friendly, lighthearted, and perfect for any crowd where you want to keep things PG.

Sometimes, the simplest jokes are the funniest, and these clean options prove you don’t need to be edgy to get a good laugh. They’re the ultimate safe bets for New Year’s fun.

41. What do you call a snowman’s New Year’s party? A meltdown!

42. Why did the fireworks sit quietly at the party? They were trying not to blow their top.

43. What’s a polar bear’s New Year’s wish? To stay cool all year long.

44. Why did the calendar feel lonely on January 1st? It had no dates left.

45. How do clocks greet each other on New Year’s Day? “It’s about time!”

46. What’s an owl’s resolution? To give a hoot about the new year.

47. Why did the snowball break up? It just couldn’t keep it together.

48. What’s a turtle’s resolution? To come out of its shell more.

49. Why don’t we ever hear jokes about midnight? Because they’re too dark.

50. Why did the balloon leave the party early? It popped under pressure.

New Year Jokes for Adults

Sometimes, New Year’s jokes are best served with a side of champagne. These adult New Year jokes are perfect for late-night laughs after the kids have gone to bed. They’re cheeky, clever, and a little more mature—but still lighthearted enough for any party.

Whether you’re toasting with friends or cracking jokes over text, these are the best New Year’s Eve jokes for adults to add a playful edge to your celebrations.

51. Why did the wine refuse to make a New Year’s resolution? It didn’t have the spirit.

52. What’s the adult version of a countdown? Watching the microwave timer while reheating pizza.

53. Why do adults love New Year’s Eve? It’s the only party where bed before midnight is optional.

54. What’s the worst thing to hear after midnight? “We’re out of booze.”

55. Why don’t people invite their exes to New Year’s parties? Fireworks outside are exciting, but explosions inside are a little too real.

56. How do you know it’s a parent’s New Year’s party? The countdown’s at 9pm.

57. What’s an optimist’s approach to New Year’s Eve? “If I drink enough, I can blame the hangover for my bad life choices tomorrow.”

58. Why are adults always the most excited about the countdown? Because it’s the last time they can loudly scream, “Ten seconds left!” and not get laughed at in bed.

59. Why do New Year’s resolutions fail so quickly?
Because vodka and good intentions don’t mix.

60. Why don’t parents throw wild New Year’s parties? The kids always crash them.

Short New Year’s Jokes

Sometimes, you just need a quick laugh. These short New Year jokes are perfect for one-liners, text messages, or slipping into conversations during the countdown.

Short, snappy, and easy to remember, these jokes are guaranteed to make someone smile (or groan) without taking up too much time. Ideal for busy New Year’s Eve parties!

61. Why did the countdown go to school? To learn how to count better.

62. What’s a penguin’s New Year’s tradition? Breaking the ice.

63. Midnight: when every clock feels important.

64. My New Year’s resolution is 1080p—sharp and clear.

65. Why was the New Year’s Day breakfast so late? Everyone was hungover.

66. What’s a frog’s resolution? To ribbit more often.

67. What do you call a mischievous clock? A time-tickler!

68. Why did the dog love New Year’s Eve? It was paw-some!

69. My wife told me to stop making New Year jokes. I said, “That’s midnight madness!”

70. Why don’t hens celebrate New Year’s? They’re too chicken to party.

Trending Hilarious New Year’s Jokes for 2025

Stay ahead of the curve with these trending New Year jokes for 2025. These jokes are perfect for Instagram captions, TikTok videos, or just keeping up with the latest humour trends for the year.

From viral countdown themes to clever quips about resolutions, these jokes are guaranteed to resonate with anyone looking to start the year with a laugh.

71. Why don’t calendars get tired? They always stay on date.

72. What’s the New Year’s slogan for 2025? “Let’s make it less rubbish than 2024!”

73. Why did the clock bring a ladder? To reach new heights this year.

74. What’s the resolution for social media influencers? More hashtags, less shame.

75. What do fireworks and influencers have in common? They’re both all about the hype.

76. Why did the wine bottle join a New Year’s party? To uncork some fun.

77. What’s the best New Year’s joke for Instagram captions? “Poppin’ bottles, not resolutions.”

78. Why did the snowman post on Instagram at midnight? To get more frosty likes.

79. How do memes celebrate New Year’s? By sharing their resolution to be viral.

80. What do you call a trending New Year joke? A hashtag banger!

Party-Ready New Year’s Jokes

When you’re hosting a New Year’s Eve gathering, the right jokes can set the tone for the entire night. These party-ready New Year jokes are designed to keep the energy light, the mood fun, and the laughter rolling.

Whether you’re entertaining friends, mingling with new acquaintances, or just need something to break the ice, these jokes are the perfect addition to your celebration. Bring out the fun and keep everyone smiling with these New Year party favourites!

81. Why did the man bring a ladder to the party? He wanted to take it to the next level.

82. What do you call a countdown party with no fireworks? A fizzless finale.

83. Why was the music at the New Year’s party so loud? To drown out everyone’s regrets.

84. What’s the best way to start a New Year’s Eve party? With a bang—literally!

85. Why did the confetti stay single? It couldn’t commit without strings attached.

86. What’s a snowman’s favourite party trick? Freezing the dancefloor.

87. How do you keep a snowball entertained at a party? Tell it some cool jokes.

88. Why do balloons love New Year’s parties? They’re always up for a poppin’ good time.

89. What’s the biggest challenge of hosting a New Year’s party? Finding your shoes the next day.

90. Why did the snowman always win party games? He was the coolest under pressure.

Social Media-Friendly New Year’s Puns

New Year’s Eve isn’t complete without the perfect Instagram caption or cheeky tweet. These social media-friendly New Year’s puns are tailor-made for online sharing and guaranteed to get plenty of likes.

From witty hashtags to clever one-liners, these puns are ideal for showing off your New Year’s celebrations while keeping the humour light and relatable. Add these to your posts and watch the engagement roll in!

91. “Poppin’ bottles and resolutions like it’s 2025.”

92. “Leaving my regrets in 2024—except for that one text…”

93. “New Year, same me, but with more snacks.”

94. “Sparkling into the new year, one pun at a time.”

95. “Midnight kisses are overrated; I’m all about midnight snacks.”

96. “Resolution: find better lighting for selfies in 2025.”

97. “2025: The year I finally finish all the Netflix series I started.”

98. “Resolutions are overrated—bring on the bubbles and confetti!”

99. “Counting down to 2025, one bad joke at a time.”

100. “New Year’s Eve: the only night where ‘bubbly’ is a personality type.”

New Year Knock-knock Jokes

Here are 10 New Year-themed knock-knock jokes for the kids to add to your collection:

101. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Abby.

Abby who?

Abby New Year to you!

102. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Noah.

Noah who?

Noah better way to ring in the New Year than with a laugh!

103. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Champagne.

Champagne who?

Champagne to see you this New Year’s Eve!

104. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Justin.

Justin who?

Justin time to celebrate the New Year!

105. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ice.

Ice who?

Ice to meet you in 2025!

106. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Cow.

Cow who?

Cow down to the New Year countdown!

107. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Resolution.

Resolution who?

Resolution to stop telling bad jokes—starting next year!

108. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Pop.

Pop who?

Pop the champagne—it’s New Year’s!

109. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Finn.

Finn who?

Finn-ally, it’s New Year’s Eve!

110. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Clock.

Clock who?

Clock’s ticking—it’s almost midnight!

That’s a Wrap on New Year’s Laughs!

With these 110 jokes and puns, your New Year’s Eve celebrations are bound to be a hit (maybe more swing and a miss). Whether you’re sharing them at a party, posting them online, or just saving them for a laugh with family, there’s something here for every occasion.

if you’d like to read more, why not check out my post on 100 New Year Quotes to Celebrate (or Survive) 2025!

Here’s to a hilarious start to 2025—let’s leave the bad (and maybe a few questionable resolutions) in 2024 where they belong.

Happy New Year from all of us at Dad Blog HQ!