Every year, as the days get shorter and my desire to step foot outside diminishes, I face the annual battle of preparing the garden for winter. By “battle,” I mean me versus my garden—a relationship that can best be described as mutually antagonistic.

It’s not that I’m hopeless (okay, maybe a little); it’s more that my attempts at gardening tend to end in disaster. If you’re like me, and your garden is more “post-apocalyptic wasteland” than “quaint winter haven,” this guide is for you.

When Should You Start Preparing Your Garden for Winter?

The sensible answer is “early autumn”—before the frost sets in and your lawn transforms into an ice rink that your kids (and dog) treat as a stage for slapstick comedy. The reality, however, is that I usually start in mid-December, just as I’m panicking about how awful the garden will look when family pops round for Christmas.

If you’ve missed the autumn prep window (like me, every year), don’t despair. There’s still time to salvage what’s left of your lawn and coax your plants into surviving until spring. Think of it like cramming for an exam you forgot about until the night before.

How to Prepare Your Lawn for Winter (UK Style)

Now, lawns are supposed to be easy, right? They’re just grass! Except mine seems to go patchy the moment I look at it wrong. So, here’s what the experts recommend—and what I actually do:

1. Aerate Your Lawn
   Translation: Stab the ground repeatedly with a fork. This improves drainage and allows air to reach the roots. I tried this once and promptly snapped my garden fork. Now, I just poke random holes and call it a day.
   
   Father Christmas, if you’re listening, a proper aerator is at the top of my wish list (right after “someone else to do it for me”). Honestly, this whole section feels like the setup to a bad dad Christmas joke, but here we are.
2. Remove Leaves
   Fallen leaves look picturesque, until they turn into a soggy, slimy mess. Raking them up is the responsible thing to do. Or, if you’re me, you can procrastinate until they’ve decayed into mulch, at which point you can “accidentally” mow over them.
3. Feed Your Lawn
   Lawn feed? In this economy? If I’m feeling fancy, I’ll sprinkle some cheap fertiliser around and hope for the best. It’s not exactly a professional approach, but hey, the grass grows back… eventually.
4. Remove Those Weeds
   This isn’t glamorous work, but tackling weeds now saves a ton of hassle later.
   
   • Pull Weeds from the Root: Don’t just yank at the tops like I’ve been known to do—dig down and get the whole root out. It’s oddly satisfying, like a gardening version of pulling off a plaster.
   • Environmentally Friendly Weed Killers: If you need a little extra help, opt for products that won’t turn your garden into a toxic wasteland. Vinegar solutions or homemade remedies can do the trick without harming wildlife.
   • Keep at It: Weeds are persistent little things. Make a game of it with the kids—whoever pulls the most weeds gets to pick the movie for family night. (It’s almost bribery, but it works.)

Creating a Winter Garden

Creating a winter garden is apparently about “seasonal interest” and “hardscaping.” I don’t know about you, but my idea of hardscaping involves dragging the patio furniture into the shed and hoping it doesn’t fall apart in the process. Still, if you’re feeling ambitious, here’s how to fake a winter garden:

1. Plant Winter-Friendly Shrubs Holly, ivy, and other Christmassy greenery are great for winter gardens. Or so I’ve read. I usually forget to plant anything until it’s too late, so my winter garden is just… twigs. Maybe next year I’ll actually try.
2. Mulch Everything Apparently, a layer of mulch protects your plants from frost. What they don’t tell you is that buying enough mulch to cover a garden costs more than my Christmas shopping budget. My solution? Grab a bag of wood chips from wickes and pray it’s enough.
3. Add Some Festive Touches Nothing says “I tried” like a few fairy lights and a decorative reindeer. If you’ve got kids, get them to help. It’ll keep them busy for five minutes, and you can blame them if it looks terrible.

During the summer holidays, I had grand plans of escaping the chaos of five kids by setting up a garden office or a trendy contemporary garden room.

It was going to be my sanctuary—a little slice of peace and quiet. But alas, the budget gave me a firm “absolutely not” this year. Maybe next year, if the wife can resist buying so many discount plants that just die, because we forget to tend to them.

Speaking of garden buildings, if you’re lucky enough to have a shed or greenhouse that’s still standing, now’s the time to give it some TLC before the frost turns it into a crumpled heap. Check for leaks, fix any loose panels, and give the windows a quick clean so they don’t look like something out of a horror film. And for the love of all that’s green and growing, secure anything that might blow away if we get another Beast from the East—that thing turned my last shed into rotting mulch.

Supporting Local Wildlife During Winter

Winter isn’t just hard on your garden; it’s also tough on the local wildlife. As a family, we’ve made it a tradition to create shelters and feeding stations for the animals.

It’s become one of our favourite parts of home education during the colder months—watching the birds, hedgehogs, and even the occasional fox make use of our creations brings so much joy.

Here are a few simple ways to support wildlife in your garden this winter:

1. Build a Hedgehog Shelter Hedgehogs need safe, warm places to hibernate. You can build a simple shelter with a plastic box and some straw or buy a pre-made one if DIY isn’t your thing.
2. Install Bird Feeders Keep the local bird population thriving by hanging up feeders filled with seeds and suet. Don’t forget to clean them regularly to prevent disease.
3. Create a Bug Hotel Stack some old wooden pallets, bricks, and straw in a corner of your garden to create a cosy spot for insects. It’s not only good for the bugs but also great for your garden’s ecosystem.
4. Provide Fresh Water A shallow dish of water can be a lifesaver for thirsty birds and other small creatures. Just remember to break the ice on frosty mornings.

Read more ways to keep wildlife happy during winter at The Wildlife Trusts

My Christmas Wish: A Gardening Miracle

Every December, as I survey the carnage that is my garden, I make the same wish: for Father Christmas to sort it all out. Imagine it—waking up on Christmas morning to a perfectly manicured lawn, pruned hedges, and plants that aren’t actively dying.

This wish, much like my sense of humour, seems destined to end up in the same category as bad dad jokes—completely ignored but oddly satisfying to me.

In the meantime, I’ll be out there with my broken fork and bargain-bin mulch, doing my best to keep the garden from dying again. If nothing else, it’ll make spring gardening easier (or so I tell myself). Good luck, fellow non-green thumbs—we’re all in this together.